Christmas tips before
I love children and my husband very much, but after several days of a family holiday I am ready to bite them all. It turns out that I do not have a single free minute to be alone with myself.
In no case do not put yourself in the position of the victim. If it is important for you not only to spend holidays with your family, but also to maintain your personal space, you need to create a schedule that will allow all this to be combined. Do not be afraid to step back from your usual schedule in order to make time for yourself. For example, if the whole family goes to visit her husband’s parents for the whole day, you can run away early or join them later, and at the same time have tea with a girlfriend. The main thing is to warn relatives in advance so that your plans are not a surprise and do not offend anyone.
We are not alone! Often, being in a bad mood on New Year's holidays, we believe that we are the only ones who are experiencing such conditions these days. Like, others are all right, they are joyful and calm. This is not so - at least a third of us experience similar emotions.
Every time the husband’s parents come to congratulate us on the New Year, we face the same problem. The father-in-law drinks too much, and discussions begin about “where are we going,” and aggressive accusations that “you, young people, are selling Russia.” How do we be?
It’s best to agree in advance with your husband’s parents that the New Year is a holiday when everyone wants positive emotions, so you should not touch on topics that upset everyone at the table. In addition, children gather at the table, so you should monitor the amount of alcohol. It is best if you ask your husband to talk with your father. And then follow the conditions, do not put too much alcohol on the table and immediately stop the desire to talk about sore.
The children again wrote a long list of expensive gifts. How can they explain that happiness does not lie in a huge pile of bright boxes?
If Santa Claus is still considered the authority of your children, all the blame can be blamed on him. After all, grandfather has to deliver gifts to all, all children, and he simply can not fulfill any whims. If the children are older, talk to them about how much you can spend on gifts and ask them to choose the most important thing. So that children are not very upset, discuss when and under what conditions you can buy something else. If the guys get pocket money, ask them to save. Consider different options, speak with them on equal terms, as with adults. And in no case do not be fooled.
I try very hard for the New Year holidays in our family to be warm and fun, so that children can remember. But my husband, unfortunately, does not share my views at all - he does not participate in the preparation in any way, he sits at the TV and eats all the holidays.
Try to pose the question a little differently. Flatly refusing to participate in the New Year holiday, he in some way refuses family traditions, a sense of unity with his family, all that is very important to you. Explain why you love the New Year holidays. And on the other hand, find out what exactly he does not like about them the most, and try to minimize these events (or his participation in them). And besides, try to find elements of the holiday that are pleasant to him, or at least he treats them neutrally. If you talk reasonably and reasonably, you can convince your husband to at least occasionally participate in family events. Of course, he is unlikely to be able to fully share your enthusiasm, but if he loves you, he will agree to a compromise.
This year, for the first time after five years of marriage, I celebrate New Year all alone. I am so sad and lonely, but there’s no festive mood ...
In your case, the best strategy is to try to give others what you yourself are so lacking. You want a person next to you to share this holiday with, so become that person for someone else. Offer your help to any charitable organization, temple, hospice, bring gifts to the orphanage, give old clothes to a shelter for the homeless. Try not to concentrate on what is missing from you, but on what you can give others.
We often encounter this problem: all relatives get together and it seems everyone is happy to see each other. But after a couple of hours, conflicts begin. Either the children will fight, or my brother’s wife will say something wrong, then our parents will quarrel. As a result, everyone begins to quarrel over some nonsense. How to save the world in a single family?
Family gatherings on New Year's Eve is not the right time to sort things out between relatives and raise obviously painful topics. And if there is a problem that requires joint discussion, talk about it until the holidays or postpone it for later. If she does come up at the New Year’s table, say resolutely: “Let's get back to this later, after the holidays. Now is not the right time. Now, let's enjoy the delicious food and the fact that we finally got together. ”
I was on a diet for several months and finally lost the extra pounds I had gained after giving birth. I have no desire to return to old habits, but you can’t explain to your mom and aunt that eating olivier, fried chicken and pies with potatoes is bad for the figure. What should I do, what to do?
In many families, preparing an abundant feast is one of the main ways of expressing love for one's family, so giving up treats is really not easy. The best thing you can do is talk to your mom in advance. Explain that your diet was not easy for you, that you began to feel much better and got rid of many inconveniences, having lost several kilograms. Warn that in the future you are going to adhere to certain rules of healthy eating and therefore most likely you will not be able to eat everything that will be lovingly prepared and put on the festive table. Say that you love your family very much, that you appreciate your mother’s efforts and don’t want to offend her at all by refusing from the crown dishes prepared by her specially for the New Year. Or maybe ask to cook something dietary especially for you. Indeed, for sure, in your mother’s arsenal of crown dishes there is what you can.
Every time before the New Year, I dream that we will all relax and have fun on holidays. But it usually ends up being completely exhausted, and the rest do not express the slightest desire to help me. But on the eve you need to take care of everything: numerous gifts, a festive table, home decorations ... And do not lose sight!
First of all, think about what leads you in an effort to do everything as best as possible. You probably think that you just want to create a festive mood for everyone. But maybe, in fact, behind this is the desire to control everything? If you really want to please your loved ones, focus on them. For example, children will be happy to decorate a house if they are allowed to glue New Year's garlands on their own and hang them where they want to.
And let these children’s jewelry will not be perfectly even, but you will get a real holiday atmosphere. Allow the children to decorate the Christmas tree, bake cookies, sweep the floor, raising clouds of dust. And relax - everything cannot be perfect!
My mother-in-law gives me terrible gifts every year, with which I do not know what to do. How to tactfully direct it in the right direction?
You don’t have to do anything with gifts that you don’t like. Accept the gift, politely thank and give to the organization that is involved in charity, or simply to the nearest temple. If you want to receive the necessary gifts, just call the mother-in-law a few weeks before the holidays and ask her about what you really need. If the gift is inexpensive and easy to find, most likely you will not be refused. And even if nothing happens, try not to be upset. Rejoice at the fact that your mother-in-law shows attention to you, and do not be angry.
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